Dear Journal,
Why is it that when I know I have hit
rock-bottom, and have messed up big time that God seems closer than before? And
why does it feel like He is whispering comfort to you?
Yesterday for example, as I talked to
Jessica, a tune played in my head. As I started humming, I suddenly realized
that it was a perfect song in responding to my feelings and thoughts at the
time. The lyric goes like this:
The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall I bring Your name down
But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds forgiveness
Replacing all these thoughts that
Have overtaken me
But I know that Your response will always be
I'll take you back as always and
Even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back as always and
Even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back
You satisfy this cry
Of what I’m looking for
And I’ll take all I can
And lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now
That radiates what’s true
And I’m in the only place that
Erases all these faults that
Have overtaken me
But I know that Your response will always be
I'll take you back as always and
Even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back as always and
Even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I’ll take you back.
‘Cause I can only speak with a grateful heart
As I’m pierced by this gift of Your love
And I will always bring an offering
I can never thank You enough.
You take me back as always and
Even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back as always and
Even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You take me back as always
Even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back as always
Even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You take me back
You take me back.1
God certainly is an awesome God. He is a
loving God and He loved me before I loved Him. His words will always be, “I’ll
take you back.” Even when I have been lost, even when I have squander all His
blessings, even when I’ve fed and ate with swine, even when my clothes are
ragged and dirty, even when…
My Father waited and waited patiently.
As I recognized my need, I turned away
from sin and started to walk back to my Father's house.
From a distance I can see a manly figure,
with compassion, He sees me and jumped with joy as He dashed toward me. I felt
so embarrassed. It is humiliating for any father to run to a son who has taken
his father’s inheritance, which should have been given when his or her parents died.
Yet, I’ve squandered all, and here I am, still on the way home, yet, my Father
is running toward me.
I quickly look at myself, "am I
good enough to be in His presence? I'm so dirty, and my stench is so strong."
I then repeated these words, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and
before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy
hired servants.2" As I saw Him closer to me, breaking every
human tradition, He fell on my neck and kissed me. I have not made it home yet.
I’m still on my way there, yet my Father has embraced me.
He longed for me. I started to say "Father,
I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be
called thy son…2" He then called His servants and uttered these
words, “Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his
hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and
let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive
again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.2”
He never wanted me to be His servants.
He loves me and He loves you, even though the mistakes you have done seem so
great, He says, “I take you back.” Will you never give up on Him?
Sincerely,
Assdhy F. Lolowang.
1
Lyric is taken from the song “Take You
Back” by Jeremy Camp.
2
The verse provided was taken from the
story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 from King James Bible.
There are no copyright infringements
intended.
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